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A Bit of Shakespeare

June is Shakespeare month at Kelly Fineman's blog. I'm already enjoying her posts. I didn't think I'd be doing much with the theme here, though. Then son came home today with a contribution.

We're lucky to live about 20 minutes away from Shakespeare Santa Cruz, a wonderful theater that does two or three Shakespeare plays each summer, plus something else they usually throw in to the mix. This Thursday, in one of those outreach programs theaters do, they're coming over the hill to son's middle school and giving a condensed performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream. (Seems like everybody Shakespeare is doing Midsummer-I have a theory that this is tied to the economy; they're doing the plays that will get the most people feeling comfortable with Will!).

Anyway...son was supposed to read over/learn a synopsis of the play so he'd know the story when he went to the play/condensed version. Being who he is, he read it, got it, and then decided to fill up time/paper with his own creation.

I give you an even MORE condensed version of A Midsummer Night's Dream, in what he swears is called a Comic Nonalogue.

LYSANDER: I love Hermia.

HERMIA'S DAD: You're a son of a biscuit.

HERMIA: Let's run away.

TITANIA: I like the changeling.

OBERON: Too bad. Puck, dose him.

PUCK: Oops, Bottom's an ass. (Drip.) Ok, your wife loves a donkey.

DEMETRIUS: Hey, Helena. Let's find the two lovers.

OBERON: I feel sorry for Helena. Dose her boyfriend.

PUCK: Sure thing! Now who does she love? Oh, well...oops.

THESEUS: Hippolyta, I almost killed you, let's get married.

LYSANDER: Well, even though I loved Hermia so much we ran away for no reason, I now love Helena.

OBERON: If you want anything done in this play, you've got to do it yourself.

DEMITRIUS: Hey, now I love Helena, too.

HELENA: Oh, both of you, shut up.

OBERON: That's enough. I'll magically make everyone happy...except Hermia's dad, who I'll forget about completely.

SNOUT: I am a wall.


This is the original. Of course, when he went to type it into his blog, that dratted internal editor took over, and he made changes. You can see the current version here.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 01:51 am (UTC)
That might be fun. Not sure if we're doing SH SC or not. We're DEFINITELY doing Shady Shakespeare--free Shakes in Sanborn Park. They're doing Richard III, of which son & husband have pieces memorized (don't ask!) but have never seen.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
I am SO linking to this when I get to A Midsummer Night's Dream. And copying it, if I have your (and your son's) permission. Effing brilliant. Please tell him I said so.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
Son says, "Oh, ABSOLUTELY!" He's planning on doing Hamlet sometime soon! :)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)
I left him a comment. Hopefully he won't mind.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)
Nope! :)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
Love it!

You have one brilliant son! :)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)
I just love that he's having fun with Shakespeare! :)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 06:50 am (UTC)
Hilarious! Don't you love kids? :^)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
Definitely. This was not what I expected when I decided to have one! :)
Jun. 8th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
To get through The Odyssey in school, my friend and I tried explaining parts of it in modern terms. I should post that later...
Jun. 8th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
I think that was a great idea! And you should post it. :)
Jun. 9th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
Will do! I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. It was waaay back in October.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )